Listen.

Significant things always happen during Christmas time, or towards the end of the year as some might have it. For me, it’s always about renewal of relationships with people. Family, friends and most importantly - God. 

I spoke to marc for a long time on Christmas night, about the year and also about how things have been going recently. It’s been a long time since i have taken the time or have sat down with someone to contemplate the happenings of the year. At least perhaps not anyone who’d care enough to ask or be genuine enough to want to hear the entire thing, no matter how boring it was. Or rather i just haven’t been able to trust that anyone would want to care about how my life was going. 

For those who know me, i’m not one who’d usually sink to the bottom of the doldrums of emoness when it comes to relationships, and especially not with regards to how i handle them. I’m usually someone who’d check the mirror every now and then to make sure that i’m still the same me. Perhaps the pace of the past 6 months has caught me off guard. Waaaayyyy off guard. 

Introspection and reflection just didn’t sit in my weekly or monthly schedule anymore. It didn’t even have a place in my mind, and soon enough i found myself scathed and battered from the secularity and materialism of life. Sure, everyone is exposed to the elements of the real world but i could’ve dealt with it better. When you trust your television, what you get is what you got, and when they hold the information they gonna bend it all they want. 

I’m no more in the sheltered SJI environment where prayer and contemplation always had its place, nor am i routinely attending Rite of Christian Youth Initiation every Sat for sessions. I am, however, glad to have Marc and Estelle by my side on this journey - God’s angels to my very soul. I know that you two will be reading this (my only two viewers haha!) so please continue to pick me up and spread your wings to cushion my falls. I have been most grateful for your immense friendship and love and i will always treasure it. Of course, do remind me of it from time to time. 

I’ve always believed in honoring my commitments though, and i shan’t compromise on them although things may get tough at times. God’s light will guide me through, and i will once again live off the light of others, hopefully emitting my very own to illuminate the lives of others around me. 

At the end of the days before me, i still take time to be still, and know that You are God who is with me.